The Last Time

Life is fairly dramatic inside my head right now. Every time I see a friend it is the Last Time I will see them before my surgery. In reality I'm going to see those same friends shortly after the surgery; I'll probably end up seeing them more than I normally would. Still, in my mind it's the Last Time... The Last Time I'll see them... until surgery. My inner dialogue is currently replete with emphatic ellipses. It's not even as if it's the last time I'll see them before a really crazy change. For instance, it would be really bizarre seeing people one Last Time as a woman before a sex-change operation, or  Last visit before giving up all material possessions to join a commune in California. I'm not planning on becoming a man or a hippie, but I'm really practicing my Last Time farewells.

It's my Last Weekend. Like all the cool 27 year olds, I'm going to Beer Festival with my family and my mom will likely push me around in my wheelchair. Sunday is the Last Time I can drink alcohol until I'm off of heavy duty drugs - and I think I'll miss my liquid pain killer. Tomorrow night is the Last Time I can take my Naproxen or any Advil. Tuesday is the last time I wear pants before a four month sojourn into muu-muus. Dinner on Tuesday will be the Last non-hospital meal I eat for a while.

People keep asking me how I'm feel these Last Few Days befor surgery. I don't know how to respond: anxious? Worried? I'd really like to just remain in denial, but that's hard to do because every time I glance down I see the yellow type and screen bracelet around my wrist. Or, I see this beautiful bruise:

 

 

That's from one very gentle blood collection, and the photo doesn't convey the full amount of purple and green in there. I'm seriously going to be one solid hematoma from all the labs, IV, and aggressive maneuvering of limbs during surgery. At least my muu-muus are voluminous.

 

So it's my Last Saturday. Then it's my Last Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Since it is my Last weekend I should drink a lot of liquid pain killer this afternoon. Good thing I have someone to wheel me around.